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Ethnic
Jokes :
Three
men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American,
and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons.
The head of the tribe says to the German, "What
do you want on your back for your whipping?"The
German responds, "I will take oil!" So they
put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten
times. When he is finished the German has these huge
welts on his back, and he can hardly move.The Amazons
haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What
do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!"
says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes
his ten lashings without a single flinch."What
will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the
American. He responds, "I''ll take the Mexican."
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying
across country on a small plane when the pilot comes
on the loud speaker and says " We''re having mechanical
problems and the only way we can make it to the next
airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at
least one of you can survive"The four open the
door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep
breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and
jumps.The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers
"Viva La France" and he also jumps.This really
pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the
Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him
out of the plane.
There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole
climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the
end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the
pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped
a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted
the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the
pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another
pole. This went on several times when the foreman came
over and asked why they couldn''t measure the poles
while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied,
"we need to know how tall the poles are, not how
long".
Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman.
So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman,
tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear
your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.""Oh
really, hmm, didn''t know that."Puzzled, the Englishman
walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick
was a loser, and he didn''t care." The second Englishman
remarked, "You just don''t know how to set him
off...watch and learn." So, the second Englishman
walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder
and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying,
cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!""Oh really,
hmm, didn''t know that."Shocked beyond belief,
the Englishman went back to his buddies. "You''re
right. He''s unshakable!"The third Englishman remarked,
"Boys, I''ll really tick him off... just watch."
So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman,
tapped hi m on the shoulder and said, "I hear St.
Patrick was an Englishman!""Yeah, that''s
what your buddies were trying to tell me."
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in
the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out
and says "Sorry, you know the law, you''ve got
to go back across the border right now." The mexican
man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must
stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent
thinks to himself, I''m going to make it hard for him
and says "Ok, I''ll let you stay if you can use
3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man
of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him,
"The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use
them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really
hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok.
The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up
and sez Yellow?" |
