Bicycle Jokes :

'While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What''s in the bags?", asked the guard."Sand," said the cyclist."Get them off - we''ll take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won''t say a word - but what is it you were smu ggling?" "Bicycles!"'

'What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it.'

'"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym teacher. "Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy." "I''m freewheeling, sir."'

'Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people''s arms off? It was a vicious cycle.'

'My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away.'

'Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking boots and pulls a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack. The second biologist gives him a puzzled look and says, "What in the world are you doing?"He replies, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we''ll jump down and make a run for it."The second guy says, "Are you crazy? We both know you can''t outrun a full-grown grizzly bear."The first guy says, "I don''t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"